Pondering my image again today..... And, this is not about my sagging jowls and other sagging parts. This is about my image as a strong, confident woman. A woman who can handle things, who is resilient and savvy. This is ultimately the image that I want to maintain and it is becoming increasingly difficult to do so. As the dawn of the decade of my forties fades behind me, more and more health things keep cropping up...and it is bugging the hell out of me. To top it all off, due to my myriad of health issues, I have been having what everyone believes is Anxiety attacks. Well, wouldn't you be anxious too if your heart started racing for no reason at all (no reason that I could see anyway...) So, I was given ANOTHER pill to manage that...a pill which I REFUSE to take (for now anyway). I plan on trying meditation, yoga and (yeah!) more blogging first. This is on top of diabetes medication (not injected insulin yet, thank god),and cholesterol lowering medication. More pills, means more steps closer to old age.
I sat down at the dinner table with my mom the other day and we both got out our respective pill cases to do our Ingest Before Meals ritual. She nudged me and smirked in a way that implied that we belonged to some sort of Sisterhood of Crones or something. "Look at us old ladies, eh" she said, chuckling softly. I was not amused.I gave her the cut eye. We have mammogram appointments on the same day next week. We are bonding over the degeneration or possible degeneration of our bodies. Isn't that too sweet?
How does all this pill taking fit into my plans to be a Hot Cougar, who very soon will be sporting some sexy guy in his early thirties on her arm? How will I fit my gargantuan Pill Case into the cute little clutch that I see myself carrying on our Saturday night dates? I will have to perform the Injest Before Meals ritual quietly and secretly in the bathroom of the trendy club we are sure to be at.
*sigh* What I have to do to maintain my image......
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
As the ever vigilant LB just reminded me, it has been a while since I blogged. *sigh* Is this just another of those things that I start with such voraciousness yet end in a sad, incomplete whimper? Sounds like the story of my life.
Presently, my life feels like Fish Pond, the carnival game. You know the one where you have to "catch" a fish with a magnet attached to the end of your string on a stick but the difficulty is that the fish are moving past you very fast. By the time you think you have a fix on one, it has swam away and so you pick another to concentrate on...only to have that one swim away from you too. I always end up feeling like I'm never gonna win the giant pink panda!
I did get the garage cleaned out. All the garbage and piles and piles of cardboard boxes are gone and we are left with a garage that is only as messy as the majority of folks in our townhouse complex. I don't need it to be pristine, I just need to not win the Grossest Garage of the Year award. My reason for not getting to it for so long (and believe me, I HAVE reasons for not getting to many things) is that I had no way of disposing of all the crap. My ex offered to drive over his buddy's huge cube van, load it up with all the stuff and take it to his place of employment (which shall remain nameless) and dump it for me. [Please don't finger wag at me for this bad thing...dumping.....I know and feel guilty enough as it is. The stuff HAD to go!!]
I toyed with this idea for weeks, knowing that he would be expecting "compensation" for his good deed. Two things happened that allowed me to call him up one day and accept his offer. One, he buckled under the reminder that the amount of child support he pays is laughable and that the least he can do is to ensure that his children live in a vermin free home. He gave up on the notion/dream of compensation of a Physical nature. Secondly...vermin. Fear of rodents drove me to get my naturally procrastinating butt in gear, glove up and start sorting through the piles of festering grossness infesting my garage. The amount of crap filled almost the entire cube van.
Several of the kids helped me with this gargantuan task and we even managed to dig the patio furniture out and set it up in the backyard.
What are you reading lately? I am reading The Stand by Stephen King. Although I have read lots of SK's work, can you believe I have never read this classic? I can't read another book about Mary Magdalene (The Expected One), nor another book about family life in Mumbai, (Family Matters),nor the power of sisterhood (The Red Tent)
Ok, I am off to read and sleep. Nite.
Presently, my life feels like Fish Pond, the carnival game. You know the one where you have to "catch" a fish with a magnet attached to the end of your string on a stick but the difficulty is that the fish are moving past you very fast. By the time you think you have a fix on one, it has swam away and so you pick another to concentrate on...only to have that one swim away from you too. I always end up feeling like I'm never gonna win the giant pink panda!
I did get the garage cleaned out. All the garbage and piles and piles of cardboard boxes are gone and we are left with a garage that is only as messy as the majority of folks in our townhouse complex. I don't need it to be pristine, I just need to not win the Grossest Garage of the Year award. My reason for not getting to it for so long (and believe me, I HAVE reasons for not getting to many things) is that I had no way of disposing of all the crap. My ex offered to drive over his buddy's huge cube van, load it up with all the stuff and take it to his place of employment (which shall remain nameless) and dump it for me. [Please don't finger wag at me for this bad thing...dumping.....I know and feel guilty enough as it is. The stuff HAD to go!!]
I toyed with this idea for weeks, knowing that he would be expecting "compensation" for his good deed. Two things happened that allowed me to call him up one day and accept his offer. One, he buckled under the reminder that the amount of child support he pays is laughable and that the least he can do is to ensure that his children live in a vermin free home. He gave up on the notion/dream of compensation of a Physical nature. Secondly...vermin. Fear of rodents drove me to get my naturally procrastinating butt in gear, glove up and start sorting through the piles of festering grossness infesting my garage. The amount of crap filled almost the entire cube van.
Several of the kids helped me with this gargantuan task and we even managed to dig the patio furniture out and set it up in the backyard.
What are you reading lately? I am reading The Stand by Stephen King. Although I have read lots of SK's work, can you believe I have never read this classic? I can't read another book about Mary Magdalene (The Expected One), nor another book about family life in Mumbai, (Family Matters),nor the power of sisterhood (The Red Tent)
Ok, I am off to read and sleep. Nite.
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